With friends like filmmaker Robert Altman, women don’t need enemies. In an attempt to praise womanhood, Altman’s Dr. T and the Women does just the opposite. It insults wives, sisters, mothers, mothers-to-be, daughters --- and women everywhere. Starring Richard Gere as the most saintly gynecologist who ever lived, the movie comes across as a blatant misogynist fantasy. This surprised me completely because a woman, Anne Rapp, wrote the screenplay. (Is there an Uncle Tom-equivalent term for a sister who betrays her gender?)

In the beginning of the film, nothing seems to bother Dr. Sullivan Travis (Gere), a rich and successful Dallas physician who appears to worship women. "Women are sacred and should be treated that way," he tells one of his friends. His ob-gyn practice is booming; he takes hunting trips with his male friends; and his oldest daughter (Kate Hudson) is about to be married. In addition, Dr. T has a beautiful wife (Farrah Fawcett) and a devoted chief nurse (Shelley Long).

Soon everything begins to fall apart for the popular doctor. His patients become more and more demanding. His wife must be institutionalized after taking off all her clothes in a shopping mall. His sister-in-law (Laura Dern), who has moved in with him, can’t get through a simple cookie-making activity with her three little girls without hitting the bottle. His youngest daughter (Tara Reid) exhibits signs of paranoia. His other daughter just might be in love with her maid of honor (Liv Tyler). Reacting to all this stress, the longtime faithful Dr. T engages in an affair with a new golf pro (Helen Hunt) who has a hidden agenda of her own.

Regrettably, I found nothing appealing about Dr. T or his women. Gere looks out of place as a man so naïve he thinks all women want is to be taken care of up there on their pedestals or down here on his stirrups. He can’t seem to make up his mind whether to play it straight or for laughs. While watching Gere in this movie, I couldn’t help wondering what happened to the actor who gave such fine performances in movies like Primal Fear and Sommersby.

As for the actresses, it’s a shame most of them say their lines at the same time in so many scenes. But I guess that’s symbolic of how selfish their characters are supposed to be. Only Long (the Cheers veteran) projects any sensitivity in her role. As Dr. T’s overly helpful chief nurse, she perks things up during her limited time on screen. Always greeting her boss with "Hi, handsome," Long’s character is almost sympathetic when she assumes mistakenly she has a chance to win him as a life partner. I say "almost" because, as happens throughout the movie, actions are carried to the extreme. This turns what could have been a poignant encounter into another male fantasy situation.

What disturbs me most about Dr T and the Women are the caricatures of Dr. T’s patients in his waiting room. They are all depicted as loud, gossip-loving, self-absorbed, intolerant, mean-spirited individuals with no resemblance to women in any waiting room I’ve ever waited in. Okay, Altman (Nashville, Cookie’s Fortune) was going for comedy here, but I didn’t laugh once. Quite frankly, I think this legendary director owes us an apology for such a dreadful film. (Gloria Steinem, where are you when we need you?)

(Released by Artisan Entertainment and rated "R" for graphic nudity and sexuality.)