Robert Pattinson, who plays the romantic vampire in those Twilight movies, shows up again in the film Bel Ami, now available on DVD. This time, he’s up to no good as an ambitious ladies man in Paris during the 1890s. After sitting through this disappointing drama, I couldn’t resist writing the poem below.

Leering at ladies

is Bel Ami’s thing.

Plus pleasuring them

with more than a fling.

Bored wives of rich men

feed this guy's great need. 

Pattinson plays him

like Alfie on speed.

His writing begins

with one smart wife’s nudge.

His fortune depends

on ladies, not drudge.

It’s Paris of yore,

and women are tired   

of spouses who can’t

um -- keep them inspired.

So many women

help Bel Ami out.

But is he a cad

becoming a lout?

It’s hard to like him

much less wish him well.

His ladies also

seem such a hard sell.  

The cast raised my hopes,

then made me dismayed.

Oh please tell me why

this film got okayed.

(Released by Magnolia Pictures and rated “R” for some strong sexuality, nudity and brief language.)

For more information about Bel Ami, go to the Internet Movie Data Base or Rotten Tomatoes website.