2009 may well be remembered as the year of the remake of classic B-movie slasher films. Sorority Row -- an update of The House on Sorority Row -- continues this trend.  Regrettably, it appears new ideas may be a little thin, and that’s disappointing because the genre needs a blood transfusion to reinvigorate it from its current anemic condition. The film industry’s drive toward easy profits based on previously successful formulas seems to be stunting the growth of innovative approaches in horror. 

While Sorority Row follows the premise of I Know What You Did Last Summer, it lacks that film’s moral conscience. The girls of Theta Pi aren’t troubled by their culpability in the accidental death of fellow sister Megan (Audrina Patridge). They are only worried about being caught.

Mean girl leader Jessica (Leah Pipes) and sisters Cassidy (Briana Evigan), Ellie (Rumer Willis), Claire (Jamie Chung), Chugs (Margo Harsh) and Megan play an ill-advised prank on the latter’s boyfriend. Posing as a corpse, neither Megan nor the gang expects that she will wind up the real thing before the night is over.

Invoking Theta Pi’s motto -- “Trust, respect, honor, solidarity, and secrecy” -- Jessica persuades everyone to dispose of Megan’s body. However, eight months later on graduation day, karma has come to collect. A hooded figure brandishing a revamped tire iron arrives on the scene to dispatch the girls one by one, which convinces Ellie that Megan has returned from the grave. The killer must have spent time perfecting his/her pitching arm because the villain hurls that tire iron through the air with ninja-like precision.

Director Stewart Hendler evidently aimed for a hip, edgy style; unfortunately the effect is only skin deep. Nothing else seems to work either in Sorority Row, not the plot, the acting, or the humor. Hendler -- whose previous work consists of short films -- appears out of his depth here. Plus screenwriters Josh Stolberg and Pete Goldfinger serve up Charmed-like inane repartee instead of smart dialogue. I wasn’t the only one who noticed this. My best friend turned to me, pinched her nose, and uttered out loud, “This is crazy!”

With its many scenes of hardcore partying, earsplitting music, heavy make-out sessions, and shower-stall nudity, Sorority Row more closely resembles an episode of Joe Francis’ Girls Gone Wild than it does a horror film. Yes, it has the requisite slash and gash violence, bloodied bodies, and dramatic musical score. But even with this nod to the genre’s conventions, I couldn’t take this sad little shocker seriously.

(Released by Summit Distribution and rated “R” for strong bloody violence, language, some sexuality/nudity and partying.)

Review also posted at www.moviebuffs.com.