Who's Afraid of MONSTERS, INC.?
If Buzz Lightyear and Woody met at the premiere of Monsters, Inc., Pixar’s latest animated gem, here’s what those popular Toy Story heroes might have said to one another:
BUZZ: I knew it, Woody, Pixar couldn’t be satisfied with going to infinity and beyond in their movies. Now they’ve taken on the world of monsters. Don’t they realize kids prefer toys, not huge creatures whose job is to get youngsters to scream as loud as they can? Wouldn’t a little two-year old girl want a teddy bear instead of an 8-feet tall monster with shaggy blue and purple hair --- especially one who talks like John Goodman?
WOODY: Well, Buzz, I did wonder about the critter you just described, that there "Sulley" fella who’s the top Kid Scarer at Monsters, Incorporated. But I recollect the adorable li’l gal you mentioned isn’t one bit afraid of him. She thinks Sulley is a big "kitty" she can play with --- so it’s still kinda toy related.
BUZZ: But look at all those weird monsters, Woody. That creepy lizard-like Randall, for instance. I hated the way he blended in everywhere and wanted to hurt Boo, Sulley’s tiny human friend. If I met him in outer space, I’d have to destroy the dastardly villain with my laser gun.
WOODY: I know what you mean, Buzz. And I’d use my trusty six-shooter on him if I had to. By the way, what did you think about Sulley’s feisty one-eyed sidekick who sounded so much like Billy Crystal?
BUZZ: I have to admit that round green guy had a lot of energy! What’s his name? Oh, yes, Mike Wazowsky. It’s funny how his appearance made me think about Mr. Potato Head and the strange way he looks with only one eye. But I digress. Mike’s very quick–witted. Even with my high intelligence, I don’t think I could have thought of singing and dancing as a strategy for hiding plans to help Boo get back home.
WOODY: Seems like yer doin’ a lotta talkin’ about Boo, Buzz. She kinda stole this ol’ cowboy’s heart too. No wonder Sulley grew fond of her and went to such lengths to protect her. Animation or not, with those big brown eyes, she’s the cutest thing I’ve seen since layin’ eyes on my first pony. And her sweet smile really got to me. She’s like the spirits of childhood, fun, and innocence all rolled into one. Aw shucks! Now I’m gettin’ too poetical.
BUZZ: You always were an old softie, Woody. Time to be practical, my friend. Do you think Sully and Mike will replace us as Pixar’s favorite heroes?
WOODY: Whoa there, Mr. Spaceman! We survived in good shape after A Bug’s Life came out, so I don’t think we’re in any danger now.
BUZZ: Then why haven’t we been cast in Toy Story 3? I’m calling my agent tomorrow.
WOODY: Oh, oh. Me too, pardner.
(Released by Walt Disney Pictures/Pixar and rated "G" for general audiences.)