After seeing a movie that insults Jews, Arabs, elderly women, cats, dogs, goats and especially hairdressers, one can’t help reflecting on the state of popular entertainment today. Adam Sandler’s latest comedy, You Don’t Mess with the Zohan, is bad in so many ways it’s difficult to know where to begin. Probably the best way to start involves complaining because there’s nothing funny about it, except for avid Sandler fans. Granted, the idea behind the movie sounds hilarious: a deadly Mossad agent fakes his own death in order to become a hair stylist in New York City. Sandler, of course, plays the Israeli counter-terrorist who wants to change professions and live his secret dream in the Big Apple. Although this film could have been quite amusing, almost every scene ends up as crude or just plain silly. Who’s to blame here?  With Sandler serving as producer, co-writer and star -- the answer seems obvious. No one held power enough to rein him in, least of all director Dennis Dugan.  

Surprisingly, though, Sandler looks great both as Zohan, the highly trained counter-terrorist, and Scrappy Coco, the sexy hairdresser. He must have worked out for many months to get the buffed-up physique needed for this role -- unless CGI magic placed Sandler’s head on Sylvester Sallone’s body. And viewers get to see almost all of that magnificent bod! Sandler also deserves credit for his convincing Israeli accent. The actor’s appearance and voice definitely help bring Zohan to colorful life on screen.

Confident, brave and close to superhuman in his fighting skills, Zohan has garnered many adoring fans in his homeland. But all he really wants to do is “make the world silky smooth” by cutting and designing hair. When he confesses this ambition to his parents, they laugh at him, which makes him sad. He’s also upset about being called back into action while on vacation, so he develops an escape plan, gives himself a new hairdo, and stows away in a dog crate going to America. After arriving in New York City, Zohan manages to find work at a salon run by Dahlia (Emmanuelle Chriqui), a gorgeous Palestinian immigrant. Because he gives customers MUCH more than a shampoo and set, women line up for Zohan’s “services.” But it’s not long before a goat-loving Arab cab driver from Palestine (Rob Schneider) recognizes Zohan, and his battles begin again.

From Zohan’s obsession about the power of his private parts to the ridiculous beauty parlor scenes where he pleasures women (mostly lonely and older ones), You Don’t Mess with the Zohan reeks with raunchy attempts at humor. “Attempts” is the key word, for most of these scenes evoke a sense of revulsion instead of laughter. Other sequences come across as either mean-spirited or about as funny as a crooked lamppost. For example, grown men making a game out of tossing around a live cat doesn’t seem comical to me, no matter who’s doing it. Also, the stereotypical portrayals of people from the Middle East, especially Zohan’s nemesis The Phantom (John Turturro), bothered me. I’ve admired Turturro’s acting in such films as Mr. Deeds (another Sandler movie) and Secret Window, so his way over-the-top performance in Zohan disappointed me. 

SPOILER ALERT    

You Don’t Mess with the Zohan ends with our hero leading peace-making efforts on the streets of New York -- where both groups must join together to fight a common enemy. But as far as I’m concerned, this film is its own worst enemy.  

(Released by Columbia Pictures and rated “PG-13” for crude and sexual content throughout, language and nudity.)

Listen to Betty Jo and John P. McCarthy discuss this film and other Adam Sandler movies on "Movie Addict Headquarters" by clicking on this BlogTalkRadio link.