While watching Eddie Murphy in Norbit, I couldn't help remembering when he used to be funny. Once upon a time, Murphy was a performer of great energy and versatility, elements which he parlayed into memorable comedic performances in films like Trading Places and The Nutty Professor. However, that Eddie has resorted to slumming around in lame, paper-thin projects (Pluto Nash, anyone?), of which Norbit is the most ghastly to date.

As a kid, shy guy Norbit (Murphy) was an all-too-easy target for bullies until he met a girl named Rasputia, who befriended and eventually married him. Unfortunately, Rasputia grew into a monstrous, obese behemoth of a woman (also played by Murphy). Now she berates and dominates Norbit on a daily basis, his life even more of a living hell than it was before.

Hope arrives for our hero when his childhood sweetie Kate (Thandie Newton) moves back to run the orphanage they both grew up in. Although she's engaged, Norbit still harbors feelings for Kate and tries to spend as much time with her as possible. Rasputia, on the other hand, has no intentions of letting her frightened hubby out from under her thumb, as she launches an all-out assault to put the kibosh on Norbit and Kate's budding romance.

Norbit made me actually feel physically ill watching it. Although the nauseating cinematography and terrible pacing caused part of my problem, the character of Rasputia is the main culprit here. There's  nothing the slightest bit hilarious about her. She's loud, obnoxious, revolting to look at -- and, above all, not funny. In comparison, Rasputia prompts one to yearn for the comedic eloquence of Tyler Perry's Madea or Martin Lawrence's Big Momma. It's one thing to play an unlikable character for laughs, but Rasputia is another story; she's just flat-out sickening to watch, and it's even more embarrassing to see an actor of Murphy's caliber wasting his time buried under a mountain of phony rolls of fat and a constant rotation of wigs. Norbit woefully miscalculates its gag-to-laugh ratio, mistaking how shrill and mean Rasputia can get for equaling the number of laughs to be had. This is the equivalent of listening to a guy tell the same bad joke for 90 minutes straight. 

I'd sympathize with Eddie Murphy for being roped into another moronic comedy, but since he co-produced and co-wrote (with brother Charles Murphy) this monstrosity of a movie, he has no one to blame but himself. Whenever he's not doing a pale imitation of his lovable wimp character from Bowfinger or being the butt of an endless array of fat jokes as Rasputia, he also plays a Chinese orphanage owner, whose ornery personality and racist demeanor inspire maybe half a smirk.

Thandie Newton tries her hardest to survive this carnage by delivering the brightest performance she can, but she turns out to be collateral damage along with other talented folks like Cuba Gooding Jr. and Eddie Griffin. All are stuck going through the motions of the movie's hackneyed and painfully predictable plot, which comes across as a thin excuse for Murphy to trot around and be unfunny in three forms.

Granted, Murphy is raking in widespread acclaim for Dreamgirls -- but I fear Norbit may be signifying the death knell of his lucky streak. 

MY RATING: 1/2 *

(Released by DreamWorks and rated "PG-13" for crude and sexual humor, some nudity and language.)