The last we saw of Roberto Benigni, he was climbing on the seats at the Academy Awards like some sort of charming monkey. That was almost three years ago. Having conquered Hollywood with Life Is Beautiful, Benigni returned to Italy the triumphant hero and ready to pour his passion into a classic fairy tale. Every good actor needs to do his or her own Hamlet. Benigni decided to define his career with Carlo Collodi's Pinocchio instead of with Shakespeare. For Benigni's fans, it might as well have been Problem Child IV  -- because this ranks as one of the year's worst.

The well-known story of the naughty wooden puppet who dreams of one day being a real boy has been made into numerous films, but thus far only Walt Disney has done a good job with it. Benigni's take is full of his trademark manic energy and has moderate visual flair, but everything about it made me want to throw Ritalin at the screen to calm him down.

The storytelling aspect is a mess and those "littluns" who aren't familiar with the tale might find themselves confused. Not only does Benigni look like all the other humans on screen (despite the fact he's supposed to be a puppet), but the five-o'clock shadow on his face makes it mighty hard to be convincing as a young wooden puppet. Sadly, North America received the dubbed version in which Benigni's voice has been replaced by that of Breckin Meyer (Rat Race, Road Trip) whose constant whine sounds more like a post-puberty fit than the voice of someone Benigni's age. I'm not sure how well the translation was done, but when they come up with phrases like "Poo Poo Land" I really have to wonder if some of Benigni's original message was lost.

Throughout the film the Blue Fairy (Nicoletta Braschi) has a sad look on her face as she watches with pain as Pinocchio screws up again and again like the little brat that he is. Her reaction is much like the one I had throughout the film. She'd shake her head when Pinocchio would steal Gepetto's toupee; I'd do the same and add a groan to go along with it. This time around the puppet is just grating to listen to and annoying to watch as he acts like the spoiled nightmare child you see everytime you go into the toy section at Walmart.

If there's one positive in Pinocchio (other than the moment the credits begin to roll) it's the lavish set designs and costumes. While not great or even all that magical, the intricate detailing at least provides something to stare at. It's interesting to see how the animal characters such as the Cat and the Fox are made to resemble humans yet have distinct animal characteristics, such as Medoro's (Mino Bellei) poodle haircut.

A labor of love for Benigni, Pinocchio emerges as a failure at the highest level. Did his passion get the best of him, making it difficult to look at his own work with enough criticism? He did, after all, charm the world with his goofy smile three years ago, so why not now? Maybe something is lost in the dubbing. Or perhaps Benigni's Pinocchio is just plain bad.

(Released by Miramax and rated "G" for general audiences.)

Review also posted at www.ryancracknell.com/movies.