Someone once remarked that it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Whoever said that would probably have been drug out into the street and beaten senseless by Syd (Chris Evans), one of the main characters in London. Syd is a young man who still hasn't gotten over breaking up a long relationship with his ex-girlfriend London (Jessica Biel). He spends his days boozing up, getting stoned, and wandering around his department in a depressed funk.

Then one day, Syd hears some news that inspires him to take action: a friend is throwing a "going away" party for London which will give her a last chance to hang out with her East Coast friends before moving to Los Angeles with her boyfriend. Syd can't pass up an opportunity like this, so with his drug dealer Bateman (Jason Statham) in tow, he crashes the party and proceeds to take up residence in the rather roomy bathroom, doing massive amounts of cocaine, pondering such topics as life and God, and trying to gather up the courage to confront London about the destruction of their relationship before it's too late.

Remember that Phil Collins song "Sussudio"? The one where Phil kept going on about this amazing girl, only you didn't really care, and his random stuttering throughout the tune didn't really help matters? Add a lot of drugs and phony-baloney, pseudo-philosophical conversations, and you have yourself a big steaming pile of London. This is the most unfortunate kind of independent film, the kind that has a good idea and could prove to be an emotionally raw experience, only the director seems so caught up in having such an impressive cast for his first time at bat, he forgets to give them anything of real substance to work with. As far as I can see, the script seems more like a first draft, a collection of writer/director Hunter Richards' various frustrations about romance and shuffled into an order that sort of resembles a storyline.

Richards slips up, however, by presenting an assortment of characters we can't really feel for. London is essentially filled with people who are all unlikable to some degree, their lives not even intriguing enough to compensate for their lack of depth and sympathetic personalities. And the movie appears confused about how to depict its own characters. Any viewers with even the slightest amount of cynicism in their souls will write off Chris Evans's Syd as a whiny kid, one who's incessantly griping about a girlfriend who left him when it's all his fault. He's absolutely insane to think that she'd welcome him back with open arms. In flashbacks, we see Jessica Biel's London struggling to put up with this guy and his tendency to assault her with questions about her fidelity.

But Richards proceeds to cast his players in contradictory lights, establishing them with obvious, definitive traits, only to whip around and saddle them with completely opposite personalities. Most viewers will probably make up their minds about the characters inhabiting London long before the movie itself has. I admire these actors for trying hard to bring some depth to their roles despite Richards' thin, hesitant script, but most of the performances come off as dull and one-note in the process. Jason Statham's performance, though, is definitely the film's highlight; it's unexpectedly strong and quirky (even more surprising coming from a guy whose fame has come mostly from action roles). I couldn't help thinking  it's been borrowed from a much more exciting and dramatically convincing film than this one.

London has a polished look and a solid cast, but what it doesn't have is a reason for people to care about it.

My rating: * 1/2 (out of ****).

(Released by Sony Pictures and rated "R" for strong sexual content, pervasive language and drug use, and some violence.)